I posted this on my resolve board, but thought I'd share here too.
I sort of chuckled to myself the other day when I had a negative reaction to my LITTLE brother's first ultrasound experience (side note: he got pregnant after trying for ONE month,, uh huh, that is correct, ONE month... thirty days.... not that I'm bitter or anything.... no bitterness here....)
Me: How did the ultrasound go? (trying to put on a happy face and be supportive)
Brother: No big deal. I only got to go in the room for a few seconds and could barely see a thing. We just got to hear the heartbeat.
My thoughts: How ungrateful. He got to see his baby's heartbeat and he didn't even appreciate it!!
BUT... if my brother had responded differently and had become overexcited about the experience, I bet it would have gone something like this:
Me: How did the ultrasound go?
Brother: It was so amazing. I was shedding joyful tears when I heard the heartbeat. I can't even explain how excited I am.
My thoughts would have been: How horrible of him to flaunt his excitement in my face. He knows what I'm going through and, out of respect, he should have at least downplayed the experience.
And a few other examples of my disastrous, twisted mind....
My thoughts when a pregnant friend left me off of her group email update on her pregnancy progress: How horrible of her to leave me off the email. Does she think that I am too sensitive and vulnerable? Does she think that she is better than me! I should be given the choice as to whether or not I want to read the email. Damn pregnant women everywhere!!!
My thoughts when another pregnant friend included me on her email to update her pregnancy process: Seriously? Do I really need to see this. Did she really need to include me on this? Why is she rubbing it in my face when she knows what I am going through! How terribly insensitive. Damn pregnant people everywhere!!
My thoughts when my mother-in-law (kindly) said that they are happy with just me and DH, without grandkids: She has seriously given up all hope for me ever having kids. I can't believe she implied that I will never be pregnant and never give her grandkids. Insensitive or what?
My thoughts when my friend (with 2 kids) said, I know that it will definitely happen for you eventually: How the heck does she know that it will happen for me eventually. She has no idea what will happen to me eventually. Easy for her to say. Insensitive or what?
Thank goodness for my highly refined acting skills and my ability to keep my thoughts just where they belong... inside my head... never to reveal their psychotic-ness..... heehee.....